but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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