In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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