your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
