theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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