I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
