it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
