Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
