you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
