no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's shark week go big or go home
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
