So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
