went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
