i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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