Church boner. Awkwardddd
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
