That's when you crack a 10am beer
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
and you fell through a lawn chair
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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