i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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