jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize