I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
