I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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