he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
