Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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