how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
