k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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