Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
