Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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