Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
