Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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