never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
