I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
