she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
