plz talk dirty to me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
