Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize