If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
