Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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