Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
