the day after is always just damage control
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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