I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
