how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
