oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Randomize
