I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
