I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
