More tranny stories later!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
