she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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