the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
