I will die if light touches me.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
