my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
