i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize