And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
