"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
