So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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