i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
