Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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