Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
