As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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