How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
