good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
