all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
