giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
