The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
