But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
