absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
