I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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