forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
